Yes to Magic

January 15, 2025

Our first podcast of 2025 featured an interview with Krista Vernoff, executive producer and former showrunner of a little show called Grey’s Anatomy.** She spoke with us about creativity and the importance of giving oneself permission to create art, whatever art means to each of us. We talked about it as living in a house of YES (rather than in the slummy dump known as the house of NO). 

Think about it…doing cool things starts with giving oneself the permission to try. And, sometimes, permission and kismet hook up like naughty little mattress monkeys and hatch something cool. But if the planets really align, they make magic.

Living in a yes mindset is exactly what led Krista to be on our show in the first place. I met Krista in the fall of 2024 at the Omega Institute in upstate New York where she was teaching a weekend course on Expressive Writing. My finding out about the workshop in the first place was kismet. 

I follow Krista on Instagram (IG) because I have long admired her work and the fact that she just elevates whatever she puts her creative mitts on to another level — from good to great, from great to iconic. She posted a reel promoting the workshop one time in one place (to my knowledge). And I saw it. Kismet. Then…I had to give myself permission to go. To do something cool. My wife, of course, was supportive. But it was ultimately Trudy saying (on the evening of my wedding rehearsal no less), “Why wouldn’t you?” that made me pull the pin. To say the workshop was transformative is like saying Taylor Swift is successful. Both things are true. They are also comic understatements. Permission + kismet = magic.

At the end of the workshop, Krista left the class with a contact email address. Once I got back home, I gave myself permission to try something cool. I emailed her to see if she’d consider being on CroneCast to talk about creativity over 50. She said yes. Magic.

There’s a saying that you should beware of meeting your idols because they will disappoint you. I need to be clear…I don’t believe in idolizing other human beings (I should add that Trudy feels the same in this regard). I don’t care who they are. My motto is simply this: Everybody Poops. 

That said, my admiration for Krista and her work runs deep. Dialogue she has written has altered our lexicon (Did we ever use the word ‘seriously’ properly before Grey’s Anatomy?); she has had a hand in creating arguably the most iconic show in a generation; and she has helped ensure that TV audiences see themselves represented whatever their race, gender, sexual orientation or ability. Her astonishing generosity of spirit and willingness to share her knowledge in the workshop was, for me, incredibly moving.

So, when it came time to do the interview, I was disappointed to discover I was more nervous than I wanted or expected to be. And trust me on this, Krista is not someone who works at making people feel nervous. Quite the contrary. My experience of her is that she is mindful about creating safe space for everyone in the room. 

After the interview was complete, Trudy and I walked from the studio to get an adult beverage and a snack. The entire way, I second-guessed myself about things I’d said or didn’t say in the interview…you know…the cruel self-talk when we do things that matter to us, and they don’t turn out perfectly. In the weeks since the interview, I have engaged in various degrees of self-flagellation over a couple of particularly cringey things I said during the interview (thanks to post-production, you are spared these moments, and they are permanently erased from human record). 

One of my Executive Coaching instructors once told us that “there is no perfect offering” with respect to a coaching someone. Of course, this truth bomb also applies to the whole of life. In fact, I’m thinking of having it embroidered on a black velvet cushion edged with gold tassels. I will tell you now that our conversation was perfect…if only because it was imperfect. 

So, when Trudy and I got to the place we were going, I checked my email and saw one from Krista. That’s cool. When I read it, I actually laughed out loud. She had written to me worrying about how she’d come across at one point in the interview. As I was second guessing myself, so was she. I like to think it was the universe’s way of confirming that everybody poops. And that most of us just want to do our best and create something good. And that, my fellow crones, is the real magic.

** Since the day the podcast dropped on January 9, 2025, devastating wildfires continue to burn in the city of Los Angeles, where Krista lives. Many people have lost their lives and thousands have lost their homes and businesses. Krista indicated on social media that she and her family are safe. Everyone here at CroneCast is sending good thoughts to her and her family, and to the people of Los Angeles. May the angels for which Los Angeles is named protect you all.